THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 15th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

My cousin got married over the weekend. It was a great time. The food was great, the music was very danceable, and the ceremony was nice... although something during this affair made me giggle like I did the first time I heard the word "doodie."

During the ceremony the priest said that instead of the couple lighting a unity candle or combining two different colors of sand or engaging in thumb wrestling these love birds had written letters to one another and were to put these letters in a special box so when and if things in the marriage were to get a bit rocky in the future they could read these letters and then remember the feelings of love and affection that had felt on their wedding day.

After I heard this I started to chuckle to myself because all I could picture was this scenerio...

Years from now, my cousin and his lovely wife are having an arguement. Things get heated and she remembers about the letter box. She tells him that reading these love letters to each other would be just the thing to help them to overcome this hurdle in their marriage. He tells her that that would be a bad idea and she can't believe what she's hearing.

"Honey," she says, "I believe that this is the perfect way to get past this unpleasantness and strengthen the wonderful relationship that we share."

"Nope. That's not a good idea. I love you, but for the love of cheese and crackers don't read that letter," he expressed adamantly.

"Sweetheart, you mean the world to me. Please let me read this message of love that you had written on the day that we said, 'I do.'"

"I'm begging you. Don't read it."

"My love, I must." (Eww, this is making me gag and I'm the one writing this.)

She opens the box and takes out the letter. She closes her eyes for a few seconds then opens them as she unfold the letter. Her happiness soon turns to confusion and then to anger as she sees what's on the page.

"I can't believe this! You wrote the letter 'A'... in magic marker," she said through clenched teeth.

He turns to his wife and with a 'deer in the headlights' look has he says, "What, sweetie, was that not right?"

Oh, man. That's funny, right? Hey, it was hot outside, there were bugs, and I have an over-active imagination. What did you think was going to happen?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Replacing the Rooster --*
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him."

"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "you can go join the other chickens that are around the back."


*-- Do You Realize...? --*
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How do you make seven an even number?

A: Take the s out!


Q: What's the best thing to put on a pie?

A: Your teeth!

***
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