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THE DAILY GROANER - February 24, 2014
Good Morning Groanies,There is a huge family of rabbits that have been living around my house for some time. It wouldn't bother me so much but they can help but leave their little bunny turds all over the drive way and porch. Walking back and forth from the house and garage you feel like Indiana Jones trying to get the idol at the beginning of "Raiders..."
It's especially noticeable when the snow comes and stays for weeks and weeks. Actually the snow helps you to avoid these Peter Cottontail's stink nuggets, but when Jack is playing out in the snow and he notices these "leavings" and his face says, "Oh, look! Cocoa Puffs!"
These rabbits have got to go! I'm thinking of leaving a trail of Trix cereal to another house down the block. You think that will work? I'll make sure the next house has a pool. This crap just has to stop!
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
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Email Steve*-- I Can't Remember Anything! --*Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Patient: What problem?
*-- My Dog Can Talk --*A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: When is it a good time to eat a window?
A: When it's jammed.
Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team?
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