THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, August 27th 2012
Good Morning Groanies,Today's Groaner column is thanks to my lovely wife Stacy.
Now that we have Jack, she has taken it upon herself to read every baby book that she can get her hot little hands on. After one of her many "fact finding" missions she became obsessed with taking our little monkey boy to the zoo.
After I reassured her that we where going to visit my side of the family over Labor Day I asked her why the sudden interest in the zoo. She replied that in one of the books it states that before a baby reaches 6 months of age it is good for their immune system to be exposed to animal feces.
To which I replied that we could save so much time, money and gas if Jack just spent some quality time with Daddy in the crapper. Afterwards he will have the strongest immune system of any person, animal, or various other critter on the planet.
That's right, the Father of the Year is right here!
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just
Click Here and
hit the like button...
Jokes? Questions? Comments?
Email Steve*-- Was He Dead? --*In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
*-- I'm Out of Gas --*A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'
'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
'Try it now,' said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?
The bee answered, "BP!"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A: A headbanger!
Q: Why don't chickens play sports?
A: Because they hit fowl balls.
***Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives