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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, October 25th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
I have a lot of patience... well, it really depends upon
the situation. There are quite a few variables that I
have to factor in when it comes to altering my patience
median.
Things like...
- What Am I Doing?
- Where Am I?
- Who Is Testing My Patience?
- Are They Bigger Than Me?
- Can I Run Faster Than Them?
When I'm babysitting my 7 month old nephew I have the
patience of a saint. When I'm at the grocery store and I
need to get a few cans of soup for work and an ancient
woman stands right in front of the soup section for 20
minutes, blocking almost every can with her giant hair,
loud dress that Stevie Wonder could see, and her cart
that has about 400 hundred cans of high-end imported cat
food that her and Mr. Whiskers share on a daily basis
while watching 'The Price Is Right', I have the patience
of a kid waiting for cookies to bake.
Sometimes it is important to be a patient person, but it's
also important to remember that sometimes you need to
recognize when to hip-check a crazy cat lady in order to
get your soup. Hey, I like soup.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch
from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shop-
lifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do
you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook
looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than
I intended to spend. Can you show me something less
expensive?"
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The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some
exercise.
"You need to make sure the dog runs around," the doctor
said. "Try playing a game of fetch."
"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.
"Why not?" the doctor asked.
"Because," she replied, "He can't throw."
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Q: Why didn't the Invisible Man get invited to the
Halloween party?
A: They knew he wouldn't show up.
Q: What did one vampire say to the other as they were
passing the morgue?
A: Let's stop in for a cool one.
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