THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Nov. 16th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,On the drive in this morning my thoughts began to drift elsewhere. (Don't worry, it didn't effect the attentiveness that I apply whenever I'm behind the wheel. I assure you.) I started to think about "Star Wars" characters, specifically Han Solo's co-pilot, Chewbacca.
Chewbacca was on my mind, but I couldn't tell you the reason behind it. I thought about his overall look and then it hit me, "Man, Chewbacca must smell just awful." Right?
Basically, Chewbacca is a 7 foot tall dog man. He's covered in long fur from head to toe. Have you ever seen him take a bath? I think not! He's got to stink.
Remember when he fell into the garbage chute on the Death Star? It was full of that dirty nasty water and garbage and that monster that grabbed Luke. Gross!
Remember when he got covered in snow on the Planet Hoth in "The Empire Strikes Back"? I'm sure he smelled like wet dog for weeks. Guaranteed!
Oh, and let us not forget about Jabba the Hutt's underground lock up in "Return of the Jedi". Do you think they gave Chewie any TP in that cell? I don't think so!
That poor stinky smelly fuzz ball. Get him to a shower, a pool or a fountain and then give him some shampoo and turn him loose. And, if you don't mind, some animal grooming clippers and a pair of pants.
Groaningly yours,
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