THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, October 31st 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Hey, no more days 'til Halloween because today, in fact, is Halloween. Hooray for Halloween!

I always love this time of year. It's especially special because of things like the leaves falling off of the trees, the frigid air, the spooky decorations, haunted houses, creative costumes, trick 'r treating, playing ding-dong ditch, the wedgies, the purple nerples, the wet willy's, getting de-pantsed, getting pelted with water balloons, toilet papering houses, getting egged, and the old chestnut of "Flaming Bag of Dog Crap on the Porch". Oh, the good times I shall be having tonight.

Have some fun tonight, but don't forget to be safe. Have a Happy Halloween and remember that there is nothing to be scared of...unless you catch a glimpse of your grandma without her teeth in and her wig on. Now that's scary! I still have nightmares.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Costumes For Couples --*
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room.

Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself.

Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his manhood. His wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied, "If you're going as a sour-puss, I'm going as a dictator."

*-- The Vampire Bar --*
It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and walked up to the bar.

"What will you have?" the bartender asked.

"I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied.

"I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.

"OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why don't cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?

A: He gives them runs!


Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?

A: A boo-loney sandwich!


Q: What's a vampire's favorite animal?

A: A giraffe!


Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?

A: He could feel it in his bones!


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