THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, June 27th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

I just finished another book today. I wasn't much of a reader in the past, but over the few years or so I have read close to 50 books, cover to cover. The last time I actually read books on a regular basis was in high school. And just in case you don't know, I went to an accredited university for five years... and graduated.

I actually enjoy reading again much like when I was a child who was thirsty for knowledge found within the printed word.

I do most of my reading in the crapper. Hey, if I didn't have to go to the bathroom I'd probably never read again. It's a good thing that I'm regular. You know what mean?

Reading is fundamental... and it comes in handy when you're dropping a deuce, I've found.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just Click Here and hit the like button...

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter: DailyGroaner


*-- Three Old Men... --*
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. And every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."


*-- Flowers For You --*
A blonde and a brunette are walking downtown when the brunette sees her boyfriend in a flower shop. "Just great," the brunette complained to the blonde, "my boyfriend is in the flower shop buying me some flowers."

The blonde responds, "Why is that a problem?"

The brunette replies, "Because now he'll expect me to spend all weekend with my legs spread and my feet up in the air."

"Why?" asked the blonde, "Don't you have a vase?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.


Q: Why don't blind people skydive?

A: It scares the crap out of the dog.

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives