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THE DAILY GROANER - August 29, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


There are a lot of things that I can't do. Things like...

1. Play Guitar
2. Do 5 Push-ups
3. Okay, Do 3 Push-ups
4. Calculate Math in My Head
5. Keeping My Sideburns Even
6. Dance
7. Not Laugh When I Hear the Word "Duty"
8. Pull Off a Speedo, Put on a Speedo
9. Water Ski Barefoot
10. Do 1 Push-up

There is one thing that I am awesome at... and that's making a shoe smell. It's true, because a nose knows.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Mother's Little Helper --*

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes," the boy's mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Who cares?" the mother replied.



*-- At the Dairy Bar --*

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What is smarter than a talking bird?

A: A spelling bee!


Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!

***

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