THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Jan. 4th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Well, it's Wednesday, and as promised I shall now reveal the gender of the baby boy that my wife and I are expecting. DAMN IT! I hate when I do that.

It's a boy, ladies and gentlemen! That's right. Stacy and I are very excited about this wonderful discovery. Once we found out we immediately purchased some clothes, a teddy bear and a baby blanket. We ever have the ball rolling on preparing the baby's room for his arrival in May.

Now we just got to figure out what to name the little bugger. I truly believe that that is one of the hardest jobs as a parent - naming the little pants pooper.

We want to pick a name that is strong, honorable, and just unique enough, oh, and shows the world that this kid's parents aren't a couple of horses asses that gave them some goofy name because they though they were just like all of those self-important celebrities that name their over-privileged spawn after imported water or a piece of fruit or a Lord of the Rings character. What a bunch of losers!

Stacy and I have a few names in mind, but we are open to suggestions. We got a few of those books with names in it, you know, the phone book. Hopefully, that will help us out.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Skydiving For Blondes --*
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"


*-- I Think I'm A Dog --*
Patient: "Doctor, Doctor, I think I am a dog."

Doctor: "Lie down on the couch."

Patient: "I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How do you know when you're really ugly?

A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.


Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

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