GopherCentral Book Collection
Six Sensational Books At One LOW Price...
List Price: $59.92 READER'S PRICE: $5.99
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1061/c/186/a/585
------------------------------------------------------------
THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, March 31st 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
Thanks to all that congratulated me on receiving my new
prestigious title. To quote Tracy Morgan, "You're sweet,
like bear meat!"
Now let's talk about the topic that is freshly working its
way through my brain. Today's topic is: Live Music in
Restaurants and Bars... and How It Angers Me.
Why is it whenever I go out to dinner at a place that
features live music the performance is always during my
dinner, is 5 feet away from my table, and has to compete
with whatever else is going on in the room during their
set?
Stacy, my parents, and I took my brother out for dinner
over the weekend to celebrate his birthday. As we were
conversing, eating, and drinking we noticed that the live
musical entertainer was gearing up to perform and most
likely cause the patrons of this fine dining establishment
to attack this pencil-thin goatee clad, Casio keyboard
toting no-talent hack and beat him senseless with his own
microphone stand. Me included.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoy live music as much as the next
guy, but there's a limit. This guy wasn't too annoying...
at first, but then he asked several children at various
tables to join him on stage and sing a song about unicorns.
That's right, UNICORNS! Unicorns? Unicorns?! UNICORNS!?!?
I sat there and fantasized about hurling double-baked
potatoes at the man and yelling, "Show's over, ya Cheese
Wiener!" I don't know where "Cheese Wiener" came from, but
I'll use it.
I understand that the guy is just trying to make a living
singing songs, but not about unicorns to a room primarily
composed of people that were alive long enough ago that
they remember seeing actual unicorns, slaying dragons and
trolls and such.
Maybe my real beef is with unicorns. What do ya think?
Groaningly yours,
Uncle Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/DailyGroaner
Looking for a Laugh? You'll find them on EVTV1.com:
http://www.evtv1.com/humor.aspx
Comment at the NEW Daily Groaner Forum:
http://groaner.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
NEW & IMPROVED - PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!
Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99 or less
Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether
you?re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet's
collar and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching
LEDs accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included).
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3807/c/120/a/585
------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was
her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &
Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and
then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
------------------------------------------------------------
THROW YOUR TUPPERWARE AWAY
10-pc Always Fresh Food Containers
Less Expensive & Better...
List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Always Fresh Containers help to extend the life of fruits,
vegetables, cheese, bread, meats. During the ripening
process damaging gases are released. Exposure to these
gases speeds up the aging process, Always Fresh Container
are made with special material that absorbs and removes
these damaging gases, extending the life of foods.
These environmental friendly reusable containers also help
reduce vitamin loss without the use of harmful chemicals
and keep all foods fresh longer. 10 pc. set. Nested so it
stores easily!
ALWAYS FRESH BENEFITS:
- Saves money
- Eliminates freezer burn
- Keeps all edibles fresh longer
- Reduces vitamin loss without the use of harmful chemicals
- Each container stacks inside the next so it will take up
a minimal amount of space.
Grab a set of these Always Fresh Containers and you'll
start saving money right away. To see a video with more
info or to order, visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2377/c/120/a/585
------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Where can you find a good deal on shrimp?
A: In a prawn shop.
Q: What does a dancer like to drink?
A: Tap Water.
------------------------------------------------------------
Follow Your Favorite GopherCentral Publications on Twitter:
http://www.gophertweets.com/ More Coming Soon!
View The Daily Groaner Archives for your favorite jokes!
http://groaner.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
End of THE DAILY GROANER
Copyright 2010 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.