THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Jan. 30th 2013
Good Morning Groanies,I learned something weird the other day. I was at my grandma's 88th birthday party and my cousin told me that our grandma sleeps with her eyes open. How creepy is that? Now that I knew this wonderful piece of relative trivia I had to ask her about it.
She told me that she has slept with her eyes open for as long as she can remember. She was surprised that I never noticed before.
I told her that all of those staring contests she won when I was a kid are now tainted and she should relinquish the title of "Staring Contest Champion".
Hey, I just want to keep things fair.
Happy Birthday, Grandma!
Groaningly yours,
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Visit and Enjoy: EVTV1.comJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- The 10 Most Wanted --*Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
*-- After Blowing Chunks... --*A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go by and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.
Q: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A: A doctopus!
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