THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, Dec. 30th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

Since I was a kid, Christmas has always seemed to go by so fast. It's over before you really even got the chance to appreciate and enjoy it. It's probably the quickest day of the year. Afterwards, your just exhausted. The only thing that is going to help is a little R&R. I know that it's been almost a week, but I still need some rest.

Today I am going to relax, watch a few movies, eat food straight from the box, can or bag, refuse to put on pants and then maybe take a nap.

It's quite a life, I know. So take it easy today and remember that the new year is only days away, so rest up now!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- The Invisible Patient --*
Psychiatrist's Nurse: "There's a man in the waiting room who claims to be invisible."

Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him right now."


*-- The Best Costume --*
This guy goes to a costume party with a girl on his back.

"What the heck are you?" asks the host.

"I'm a snail," says the guy.

"But... you have a girl on your back," replies the host.

"Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

A: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back."


Q: How does the man in the moon eat his food?

A: In satellite dishes.

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives