THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, August 1st 2012
Good Morning Groanies, Names can be a funny, weird, honorable, mispronounced, misspelled, misunderstood, misused, mysterious thing. It's true. A name can make or break you.
I'm not one to brag, but Stacy and I have been given so many compliments on naming our boy Jack Henry (First and Middle). It's a classic name that, for whatever reason, seems to be the perfect fit for our little drooling diaper-filler.
Then there are times when you wonder what people (and celebrities) were thinking when they came up with some of the most horrendous monikers ever given to a human child that they claim to love.
Here are a few of my favorites that I've come across in my travels. Brace yourself. Say hello to...
1. Imabong (pronounced I'm-A-Bong)
2. Pajama (pronounced Paj-A-May)
3. Shadow (definitely hippie parents)
4. Zoltan (I think he was a wizard though)
5. Jazzy (No she not holding a saxophone)
They all can't be winners folks. And by that I mean the names, kids and, especially, the parents. Just give your kid a name that they can find on a little license plate in a gift shop. Is that that hard?
If you've come across some names that have forever altered your belief that
people can't be that stupid, please, don't keep them to yourself. Share them with me by
Emailing Steve, naturally.
Groaningly yours,
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DailyGroaner *-- Woodpecker Ponderings --*A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.
The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers).
The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion. Apparently, Tiger Woods was right, when he said, 'Your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.'
(Joke courtesy of Cheryl... or Chererrrr as I call her.)
*-- Give Us A Bad Name --*There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What's the difference between a policeman and a garbageman?
A: The policeman does his duty and the garbageman cleans it up.
(Joke courtesy of reader dweilermg)
Q: What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A: A milkshake!
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