The real Wild West comes to life in this 6-part American
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, March 7th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
Have you ever called to make an appointment to see your
doctor and to get in to see the doctor as soon as possible
you lied about the symptoms of your illness or the fact
that you had an illness at all just so you could wear one
of those nifty gowns or get to hear the snap of a rubber
glove that's worn by a medical professional with a rectal
thermometer in their shirt pocket? (Wow, I got really
specific right there.) Come on, we've all done it.
I was at my doctor's office the other night, with a
legitimate illness, sinus infection, and I asked the
receptionist if she could recall any of the ridiculously
extravagant illnesses that patients have claimed to have
suffered to warrant them a shoehorning into the doctor's
already busy schedule.
Patients have claimed to have suffered from the following,
get this... gopher flu, weepy nipples, toenail retraction,
hair aches, lazy neck, heel widening, the chili farts,
phantom belly button, anaconda attack, out of tune meat
whistle, checkered rectum, werewolf-ism, burnt toast
smell, evening vision, decaffeinated cankles, sea legs,
poo particles, llama pox, droopy chin, fuzzy bag... and
the list goes on.
After hearing the laundry list of bogus illnesses that
supposed sick, and very creative, people were using I
suddenly realized that I'm not the only one that has
suffered from the dreaded onslaught of the chili farts...
and fuzzy bag.
And before I go I just wanted to let you know that on the
Daily Groaner Archives Page you can cast a vote for your
Favorite Standup Comic. Vote Today! http://bit.ly/fN4uqI
And remember you can also gain access to a plethora of back
issues of the Daily Groaner newsletters which features
hilarious jokes and goofy columns that will make you laugh
and/or question my sanity. Enjoy! http://bit.ly/fN4uqI
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/DailyGroaner
Looking for a Laugh? You'll find them on EVTV1.com:
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A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and
said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas
baby" weighing twenty pounds.
Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender
recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the
typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"
"Yup, shore am!"
"How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."
The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh
twenty pounds."
The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
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"Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef"
1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef
Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.
When the little one burns, the big one is done.
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Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this!
Q: What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A: A hot dog and a six pack of beer!
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