THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, June 12th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

I was in the store the other day when I noticed that fellow shopper was yelling at a manager. Since I'm curious like a cat I meow-mixed my way over to see what all of the commotion was about.

So here's the story - apparently, this guy was shopping and couldn't find the ladies underwear he likes or something and a young lady that was stocking shelves near him didn't offer any assistance. The manager asked the man if he had asked the young lady for help and he said, and I quote, "No, she should know that I need help!" Well, after this misogynist mouth-foamer's rant everyone from customer service to the loading dock could see that he needs help.

At that point I had heard enough and got out of there. All I could think about was how people can be so narcissistic that they throw a tantrum whenever things don't go their way. It's sad, embarrassing, and I'm surprised that it doesn't happen in public more often.

On a more humorous note - when I saw and heard the aforementioned whiner I wanted to go over and tell him, "Oh, what else could the staff of this fine establishment do for you sir? Would you like them to rub your bum while you eat a complimentary ice cream cone? Hit the bricks, ya zilch!" Hey, that's not a bad idea. Who among us doesn't enjoy a bum rub and a cool treat? I bet that would really help business.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- What'll It Be? --*
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be, buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."


*-- My Wife Beats Me --*
Patient: My wife beats me, doctor.

Doctor: Oh dear. How often?

Patient: Every time we play Scrabble!


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail?

A: He became a Small Medium At Large.


Q: What did the curtain say to the wall?

A: I'm tired of hanging around all day.

***
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