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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, August 2nd 2010

Good Morning Groanies,

I'm not quite sure what I did over the weekend. All I know
is that I was at a bachelor party Saturday night, but from
that point on, until this morning, I'm drawing a blank.

Wait! I kind of remember going to a baseball game. Did I
throw out the first pitch? Maybe. Did I get hit by a foul
ball? Man, I hope that's what that large lump on my head
is all about. Did I get tazered?!

Hang on! I'm remembering something else. I think I was
digging a trench in my backward. It seems like a war
reenactment may or may have not been in the works. I'm
kind of guessing here.

Oh, here's something! I believe that I engaged in a sword-
fight with a chimpanzee. I probably had to defend my honor
against the animal, it's happened before.

Well, I could be completely out of my mind with all of
this, but it sounded like a great time! Good weekend, eh?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

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One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out,
"My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please,
anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he
was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped
over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his
arms around the boy's abdomen, and squeezed. Out popped
the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though
nothing had happened.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a
paramedic?"

"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

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Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!


Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette,....?

A: A blond doing cartwheels.

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