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RELAX... It's Easy With The Tush-eez Cushion...
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 5th 2010

Good Morning Groanies,

I noticed the other day that I've read over thirteen books
in the last eighteen months. That's crazy. I'm not really
a reader, I'm more of a 'watch television and movies and
play video games and throw rocks at trains' kind of a guy.

The weirdest part is that I haven't really read a book
since high school and I'm a college graduate for crying
out loud. It took me five years to graduate, but I did it,
dammit!

I usually just read books that had pop-up pictures or
feature superheroes, tights and words like BLAM or ZAP.
Now I read books about humor, film history, mysteries,
and the supernatural - all the things I enjoy.

I really missed reading. I'm going to make sure that I
read a lot more. I guess what made it so hard was the
fact that I have no attention span.

Oh, I think I see a quarter under my desk.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

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The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his
front door onto the porch.

Someone dialed 911.

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Q: Did you hear about the alligators that joined the FBI?

A: They became investi-gators.


Q: Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player?

A: She had a pumpkin for a coach!

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