THE DAILY GROANER - February 15, 2016
Good Morning Groanies,
I was looking myself over while standing in front of a mirror and I thought that I looked good for a guy my age.
I guess I could get myself in a little bit better shape. I could stand to lose a few pounds, tighten up some areas and maybe develop some muscle or muscles. I think I needed to do a little self-evaluation of my physical attributes and I think I learned a little bit about myself.
I also learned that standing in the middle of a department store naked during prime business hours is frowned upon by the management. That's news to me. I thought I was doing a good thing.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
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*-- Something Wrong With Your Back --*
Quasimodo goes to a doctor for his annual checkup.
"I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.
"What makes you say that?" Quasimodo asks.
"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch."
*-- How About That Dance? --*
A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child."
"Please forgive me," responded the underclassman, "I didn't realize you were pregnant."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?
A: Take a cod, any cod.
Q: Why don't you ever see chickens in the zoo?
A: Because they can't afford the admission.
***
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