THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, August 3rd 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I've been very forgetful lately. I forgot to bring my lunch with me to work. I forgot to take out the garbage this morning. I forgot to shower yesterday. I forgot to put gas in my car. I forgot to mail a bill. I forgot to zip my fly after using the bathroom. Thankfully, I didn't forget to wear underwear... or to unzip my fly before using the bathroom.

Interesting enough as much as I forget things I am really good at remembering the things that I forgot. Weird, huh?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- A Bear Walks Into A Bar... --*
A bear walks into a bar and says "Bartender, give me a gin...........................................and tonic.

Bartender says, sure buddy but whats up with the long pause?

The bear looks at his hands and say I dunno, my dad had them too.

*-- A Big Difference --*
Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.

"OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce."

"Well, your honor," Dan started, "Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I'd end up making love to her by mistake."

"Surely there must be some difference between the two women." the judge said.

"You'd better believe there is a difference, your honor. That's why I want the divorce."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a millipede?

A: Drumsticks for everyone.


Q: Why was the ancient Egyptian confused?

A: Because his daddy was also his mummy.


Q: What did one math book say to the other?

A: We've got problems.

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