THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Feb. 26th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

Hey, guess what? Here's some of the stuff I learned so far this week:

1. I Have A Lot More Nose Hair Than I Thought
2. I Really Need To Get Some Sleep
3. Some Mysteries Should Remain That Way
4. The Oscars Were Last Sunday
5. I Drink Way Too Much Coffee
6. Rewatching James Bond Movies is Time Well Spent
7. Scratching Yourself For More Than 15 Seconds Is Deemed Inappropriate By Many
8. Apparently There Are only 28 Days in February This Year
9. Making Chewbacca Noises While in the Bathroom Freaks People Out
10. There Is No Doubt About It, I'm Not A Morning Person

Well, have a great rest of the week, enjoy the weekend and I'll catch you on the flip-flop.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What kind of dinosaur is never late?

A: A pronto-saurus.


Q: What washes up on small beaches?

A: Microwaves.


Q: Why did the orchestra have bad manners?

A: Because it didn't know how to conduct itself.


*-- Getting Glasses --*
The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.

As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did one dog say to the other?

A: "Sit down quick, here comes old cold nose."


Q: How do you know that your tiger is telling the truth?

A: He's not a lion.

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