After Three Years, I Still Use This Every Day...
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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, March 3rd 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
I have three questions for you, my friend.
1) How long will it take for the romance to sour for the
Bachelor and his newest true love? You know, once the
cameras, over-dramatized pageantry, and getaways to exotic
locales cease to perpetuate this horrific spectacle of
these insipid morons (as well as the viewers) who believe
that this is how soul mates are brought together. Idiots!
2) Did you know that 'foreplay' is NOT a golf term?
and lastly, but not leastly...
3) Did you every see your mom slide down the stairs on
a safe (yes, a safe) and then crash headfirst into the
hallway closet door?
If you answered "YES" to number 3 then we have a lot more
in common than you think or maybe we just have moms that
wanted to be on 'Jackass'.
I can just picture it: "Hi, I'm Steve's Mom! Welcome to
Jackass!" and then Wee-Man cracks her with a 2x4. She
would love that.
I wish I could make this stuff up.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big
Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run
down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit
the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash
before the had taken three steps.
The second threw his watch and made only two steps
before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went
down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street
and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the
watch.
"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
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Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
A: Rep-tiles!
Q: What did the clock say to the watch?
A: Tock to you later.
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