THE DAILY GROANER - November 24, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I don't know if I'm going to make it to Thanksgiving. I'm so hungry for turkey, stuffing, biscuits, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, baked potatoes, green bean casserole, yams, cornbread, Mac 'n Cheese, gravy, and whatever else has butter on it and isn't nailed down or burnt that if you, the reader, listen very closely you can actually hear my stomach growling like a mythical beast that craps out magic jewels that fairies and goblins try and snatch up to help their people stay prosperous in the dark times that lie ahead. The elf king told us that one day...

I need to eat something.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?

A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.


Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?

A: With a "tuba glue."


*-- Ringing the Doorbell --*
A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

The boy replies, "Now we run!"


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink"?

A: Because it was always running out of the pen.


Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

A: Laughing stock.

***
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