THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, June 6th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

The other day I spotted this dude that was covered in tattoos. I mean covered. His arms, legs, neck, face, head, front, back, up, down, left, right, he had them just about every single place on a human body that you could consider putting a tattoo. It was something else.

It got me thinking: I don't think I'd ever get a tattoo. I really don't mind them, but sometimes, I think, some people go a little overboard when it comes to permanently decorating one's self.

If I ever did get a tattoo it would have to be simple and tasteful and classy. Maybe an action-shot of Bea Arthur and Phyllis Diller mud wrestling or possibly a sign that says, "If you can read this obviously I have misplaced my pants." I just don't know. And now back to that colorful young man I mentioned earlier.

They, and who "they" are I couldn't tell you, say that a picture is worth a thousand words. And sometimes a thousand pictures, pictures that cover over 90% of your body, are worth just one word: CREEPY! Hey, that guy was driving an ice cream truck. I have to assume and go with my gut here!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Does Anyone Know? --*
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.

At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day.

He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was the sick man arrested in his car?

A: For Driving Under the Influenza.


Q: What are two things you don't eat for breakfast?

A: Lunch and dinner.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the music teacher get locked in his classroom?

A: His keys were inside the piano!


Q: What did one skunk say to the other skunk when they were cornered?

A: "Let us spray."

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