THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, July 13th 2011Good Morning Groanies,Everyone has a dream job. I have a few that I don't mind sharing here today. Here's a list of my dream jobs.
1. Mattress Tester
2. Gentleman Surfer
3. Booty Wrangler
4. Professional Wingman
5. Movie Critic
6. World Renown Bad Dancer
7. Ref At Women's Mud Wrestling
8. Comic Book Reader
9. Pool Boy
10. Victoria's Secret Dressing Room Security Guard
These all seem like excellent career choices. Wouldn't you like to get paid for one of these jobs?
Groaningly yours,
SteveQuestions? Comments? Jokes?
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DailyGroaner+-- Can I Take Your Order? --+A man walks into a restaurant with his wife. The waiter approaches the table and asks for their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil," he says.
"But sir, what about the mad cow?!" asks the waiter.
"Oh," answers the man, "she'll order for herself."
+-- Listen Very Carefully... --+A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. 'Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very carefully...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k? '
+-- Q and A Quickies --+Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: "Don't worry, I've got you covered!"
Q: What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
A: It becomes a sourpuss.
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