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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, March 14th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
I went to see my doctor the other night. I needed to have
some blood drawn. I have to do this every three months.
It's one of the perks of being diabetic.
When I was getting my blood drawn the nurse said that she
needed to "stick" me again. Apparently, I have stubborn
veins. I calmly said, "No problem." She stuck me again and
then I yelled out, "Sweet Mama! I think you hit bone!" She
didn't find it as funny as I did.
After it was all over, I walked out with a Snoopy Band-Aid
on my arm and a bunch of gauze in my nose. The nurse told
me that from now on it would be much easier to get blood
from me if she would just punch me in the face. Hey, I
can't argue with that, she's a professional.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish...
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A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man
take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump
out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the
bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this
twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill.
The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five
hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of
a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had
on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered
the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the
pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out
only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to
the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure
are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
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Q: What do you call a traveling flea?
A: An itch hiker.
Q: Why should you not trust the ocean?
A: Because there is something fishy about it.
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