THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Oct. 17th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Stacy and I have been having the toughest time getting Jack to laugh. You would think that getting a 5-month-old to laugh would be one of easiest tasks that one could undertake, but Mr. Jack Henry is rather resilient to catching the express train to giggletown.

Whether it's funny faces, silly voices, tickling, blowing raspberries, clucking like a chicken, etc. - nothing seems to be working. Jack's a tough cookie, but I'm not giving up.

I'm a funny, and humble, guy and I know that I can get him to laugh. But just to be safe from now on I better find better jokes and I need to write funnier material, starting with this issue. How am I doing so far?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- How'd You Make Your Money? --*
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."


*-- Urine Trouble at the Pool --*
A lifeguard told the mother a young boy to stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!


Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

A: Look, grandpa, no hands!

***
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