Enjoy the Smash Hit Broadway Musical of Peter Pan on DVD!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1069/c/186/a/585
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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, November 10th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
It's only the 10th of November and I'm already sick of
the wonderful holiday that is Christmas.
I've been trying to avoid Jingle Bells, Mistletoe, and
Tinsel for weeks. I tried to enjoy Halloween, but I
couldn't even do that because every store, and their
marketing wizards, have decided that the Happy Holiday
Season should overshadow Halloween and Thanksgiving with-
out any questions asked.
So I guess the Christmas Season starts in October now.
Make sure that you plan accordingly.
As a child, I can remember that the Thanksgiving weekend
was the time to climb into the crawlspace and drag out all
of the decorations, the tree and endless strands of lights
that would surely make our house more festive and fun.
Driving home from the office I've noticed that multiple
homes have already plastered their yards with polar bears,
elves, reindeer, snowmen, and Santa's fat, white ass. I
don't mean to lash-out, but I'm left with no choice.
For crying-out-loud, can we please just enjoy the holiday
season during the holiday season. I'm still eating Franken-
berry Cereal for breakfast here.
I know I'm not the only sane person left to feel this way.
Hey, even I get scared when I'm the voice of reason.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A cabbie picks up a Nun in San Francisco. She gets into
the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver
won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a
question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.' he
answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as
old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm
sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I
would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single
and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make
a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying.
'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess;
I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going
to a Halloween party.'
[This joke is courtesy of fellow goof - Cheryl]
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Q: Where does a bat eat his dinner?
A: On home plate, and he has a ball.
Q: What has ears but can't hear a thing?
A: A cornfield.
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