THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Dec. 21st 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Well, since Christmas is a few days away, I'm taking a few days off to bask in the wonderment of the holiday season. Which means I get to do all of the following:

1. Annoy Relatives
2. Eat Ham Sandwiches For An Entire Week
3. Open Gifts (Even If They Aren't Mine)
4. Drink Buckets Of Egg Nog
5. Sing Christmas Carols Off-Key
6. Watch "Die Hard" (The Best Christmas Movie EVER!)
7. Not Wear Pants (A Personal Favorite)
8. Go To A Party and Try On Other Peoples Coats
9. Search For the Christmas Pickle (Good Times!)
10. Talk In An English Accent For No Apparent Reason (That has nothing to do with Christmas, but it is a fun time!)

I look forward to the holidays like most people do. I hope that your holiday celebration is as wonderful as mine. Have a great holiday, a Merry Christmas and I'll talk at you before the New Year.

And remember, nothing burps better than egg nog...well, maybe bacon.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?

A: He wanted to sleep like a log!


Q: What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?

A: This one will sleigh you!


*-- A Cheap Gift --*
After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.

"That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.

"That's still quite a bit," Tom groused.

Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.

Tom grew agitated, "What I mean," he said, "is I'd like to see something real cheap."

So the clerk handed him a mirror.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

A: Because every buck is dear to him.


Q: Why is it so cold on Christmas?

A: Because it's in Decembrrrrrrrrrr!

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