THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, April 22nd 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

My son Jack is walking all over the place. He's just shy of his 1st birthday and I still can't believe how fast he's growing up. In a year he has learned to walk, crawl, feed himself, laugh, smile, wave, climb, dance, and blow raspberries.

Year two is going to be filled with big steps for my little guy. I'm looking forward to Jack learning to talk, read, write, moonwalk, breakdance, make fart noises with his armpits, mow the grass, wash the car, draw, make prank phone calls, enjoy a steak... I guess that's a lot for a 1-year-old to take on. That fart noise thing would be a riot though, but no pressure.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I've Lost My Dad! --*
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The policeman said, "What's he like?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"


*-- High-Speed Knitting --*
The Policeman couldn't believe his eyes as he saw the woman drive past him, busily knitting. Quickly he pulled along the vehicle, wound down his window and shouted, "Pull over!"

"No," she replied, "they're socks!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What is an archaeologist?

A: Someone who's career is in ruins!


Q: How does an attorney sleep?

A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

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