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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, November 22nd 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
My wife and I joined up with her family for a day of fun
and excitement at the Shedd Aquarium in downtown Chicago.
I haven't been there since I was in grade school. I had
forgotten just how marvelous it was to see all of these
amazing aquatic creatures. It was quite a sight.
I really enjoyed myself once that run-in with security was
resolved. They really frown on bringing in outside items.
I found it completely ridiculous that I couldn't bring
along a few "aquarium appropriate" items.
Here's a list of things that aquariums don't allow on the
premises.
1. A Rod and Reel
2. Fishing Nets
3. Tartar Sauce
4. A Deep Fryer
5. A Harpoon
6. Mrs. Paul
7. A Row Boat
8. A Shark Cage
9. Tackle Boxes
10. Depth Charges
I wish I would have known about this list before the trip.
Packing for this outing would have taken a lot less time
and we could have gotten there significantly earlier. Now
I know.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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God tells Adam that he has decided to give him a companion
called a woman.
Adam says, "A woman? What's that?"
God explains, "She will be beautiful beyond your wildest
dreams. She will wait on you hand and foot. She will be
your most trustworthy friend, a fantastic lover, and a
brilliant conversationalist. She will be a gourmet cook,
a wonderful homemaker, and will bear your well-behaved,
thoughtful children who will always get along with one
another. And finally, she will, of course, laugh at all
your jokes."
"Wow!" says Adam. "That sounds great! How are you going
to make this woman?"
God replies, "I'm going to need to remove one of your
legs."
"Hmm," says Adam. "What could I get for a rib?"
[From BBIX34]
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Q: What do you get when you cross a wolf with a ceramicist?
A: A hairy potter.
Q: How do Priests travel from church to church?
A: By holy-copter.
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