THE DAILY GROANER - April 28, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I went to a wedding over the weekend. The whole time I was present all I could think about was how men and women view weddings and the reception.

Women, as wedding guests, tend to (according to my eavesdropping, and multiple viewings of the TLC show 'Four Weddings') pretty much analyze the hell out of everything like the dress, hair, food, cake, music, chair covers, shoes, centerpieces, place setting, favors, drunken relatives, attractiveness of groomsmen, the length of time the ring bearer spent digging in his nose as he zipped down the aisle, flowers... I could go on but my laptop's battery only has a four hour charge left.

As a wedding guest, most men seem to have a very simple view of the celebratory goings-on. I know this because I'm a dude and... that's it. Here's the textbook male perspective:

What? Free food and booze, and look at those bridesmaids! Nice!

To each his own...

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Will You Marry Me? --*
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June."

"Yes, this is June."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will! Who's this?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How do you make a strawberry shake?

A: Put it in the freezer!


Q: How much does a pirate pay for his earrings?

A: A buccaneer!


*-- Reader Comments --*
My husband used to drive for a delivery service and one of the customers had the name... Phil McCracken. Just had to share - Martha
[That sounds a little suspicious to me. What kind of delivery service was it?]

I had a girl in my school classes, whose name was Allison Katz -- so she was called "Ally Katz"!
[That's funny, I went to school with Bob Katz. Any relation?]

I should have written sooner about funny names but I just had too much going on in my life at that time. I used to work with Soda Popp (real name) who had a brother Rado. Gossip said he had a sister Lolly but I don't believe he did, cousin perhaps I never asked. I really enjoy your column and your groaners. I send many of them on to friends and family. - Lynda
[Thanks for reading and sharing, Lynda. Tell me, did Soda have a bubbly personality?]

***
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