THE DAILY GROANER - July 21, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I've noticed, as well as my co-workers, family, and friends, that I have really accumulated quite a bit of gray hair. I used to notice a random gray every now and again, but now they're all over the place.

It doesn't bother me. I actually like it. It makes me look more distinguished... and handsome - if that was possible.

They only think that Salt & Pepper Steve is bothered by is the fact that sporting this hair makes people, especially young people, assume that I'm an old geezer.

Sometimes I'll get random questions asked of me. Questions like: What was it like before there were cars? How depressing was the Great Depression? Where were you on VJ Day?

Kids, with a great background in US history, can be so cruel.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Listen Carefully --*
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......

ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK!?!?


*-- Bearly A Joke --*
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a gin.....................................................and tonic."

Bartender says, "Sure buddy, but what's up with the long pause?"

The bear looks at his hands and says, "I dunno, my dad had them too."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?

A: "Don't worry, I've got you covered!"


Q: What happens when a cat eats a lemon?

A: It becomes a sourpuss.

***
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