THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, December 9th 2013
Good Morning Groanies,Good news, everyone! I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping. I'm gonna make it!
Every year it seems to get harder and harder to get the
holiday shopping done. The roads are always clogged with traffic. Shoppers at the check out lanes are lined up to the back of the store. Shoppers walk aimlessly in aisle after aisle with no particular shopping agenda like a zombie in a George A. Romero movie. It seems like those shoppers with a plan are left alone to struggle for survival. I'm gonna survive!
It's rough, but I got just about everything I needed to get, well, except for that really nice belt sander for my dad. That old lady was just too damn strong and very determined. Plus, she smelled like cat food and Poligrip. So she had that working to her advantage.
Groaningly yours,
SteveJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- That's Him! --*In a courtroom, a purse-snatcher is on trial and the victim is stating what happened.
She says, "Yes, that is him. I saw him clear as day. I'd remember his face anywhere."
At which point, the defendant bursts out, "You couldn't see my face, lady. I was wearing a mask!
*-- Getting A Lecture --*An elderly man was staggering down the street and stopped by a police officer who asked, "Just where are you going at 1:30 in the morning?"
The man said, "To an alcohol lecture."
The cop asked, "Where is it and who is giving it?"
The man said, "It's at my house, and my wife is giving it."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What is at the end of everything?
A: The letter G.
Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.
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