THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, May 25th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I'm feeling nostalgic today. So let's look back at what I had on my mind one year ago. I bet it's unusual!

From time to time I have weird thoughts. (BINGO!) I'm sure that you already know about that. I've been told that I have a very overactive imagination and my mind tends to wander... my keys are really shiny. What? Okay, back to my point.

I was sitting in my car and then my inner voice asked me, "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if the new cosmetic surgery craze was to close up one's bellybutton?" Then I said, "That would be weird to see people without bellybuttons. Just bellys... sans buttons. Freaky."

Then I told my inner voice, "That would never catch on. If everyone closes up their bellybuttons how are they going to twist the bottle caps off of their beers?" Something to think about.

I hope this column has been thought-provoking. Good day to you.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Questions? Comments? Jokes? Email Steve

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+-- Are You Sexually Active? --+
A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand, "I found this while cleaning your room today. Are you sexually active?"

To which the daughter replies, "No, I just lay there."


+-- How Do You Feel? --+
Sam and Greg lived in a retirement center and were sitting on a bench under a tree when Greg turned to the Sam and said, "Sam, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches
and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Sam says, "Well, I feel just like a newborn baby."

Greg Said, "Really! Like a baby!"

To which Sam replied, "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself."


+-- Q and A Quickies --+
Q: What did the man who was just cloned say?

A: "I'm beside myself!"


Q: Why didn't the baby goose believe anything his father said?

A: He thought it was all papagander.


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