THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, October 1st, 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Over the weekend, Stacy and I decided to take Jack on an outdoor adventure. We took him to a place filled with exotic creatures, weird smells, and delicious chicken nuggets. No, it wasn't a high school cafeteria, it was the zoo.

As I mentioned in a previous column, we have been wanting to take him to the zoo for some time now. Overall, it was a pretty good day. The weather was decent, it wasn't too crowded, and Jack seemed to like being somewhere new.

However, my experience was not so wonderful. I was constantly being accosted by numerous zookeepers. They kept coming after me with their tasers, nets, and tranquilizer darts. Apparently, an orangutan had escaped from captivity earlier that day and it just so happened that I matched his description perfectly.

I learned three things during my zoo adventure...#1 Jack had a great time, #2 Those tranq darts hurt, and #3 I need to shave more often.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- School is Swell --*
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

"What's the matter, son," asked his mother.

"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet."

"What do you mean 'all wet?'"

"I mean," he replied, "below C-level."


*-- The Truth Ain't Pretty --*
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Who won the Franco Prussian War?

A: James Franco!


Q: What does Godzilla drive?

A: A monster truck!


Q: Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

A: There are too many ears!

***
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