THE DAILY GROANER - November 18, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Stacy and I took Jack and Sean to the park the other day. The weather's been so nice lately we figured, "Oh, what the hell!" While we were having fun we noticed another young family also trying to enjoy the available amenities.

The father and mother of the youngster kept calling out his name every few seconds because they couldn't keep their attention on the kid for more than eight or nine seconds. That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the kid's name. This rambunctious boy's name was none other than Damien. That's right - Damien!

Okay, we've all seen The Omen, right? We all know that if a boy was born after 1976 you just don't name your kid Damien. I don't care if it's a family name or you like the sound of it, Damien is and will always be synonymous with that creepy demon spawn from that flick.

Don't name your kid Damien! Just don't do it! Name your kid Dew Drop, Duracell, Stumpy, Cheese Ball, Corn Ball, Wang, even Chester, but not Damien.

Well, after seeing little Damien berserker his way from the swings to the monkey bars I believe that Damien was truly the perfect name for this demonic booger-eater. Oh, and his pet Rottweiler was also quite menacing.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- This Is Puzzling --*
A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together.

After a while of trying she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend says, "Honey, what's wrong?"

The blonde says, "I'm trying to put this puzzle together but I can't do it."

Her boyfriend says, "Well, look at the picture in the front and tell me what it looks like."

The blonde says, "Okay... well the background is blue and there is a tiger on it."

Her boyfriend says, "Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."


*-- That's Horrible! --*
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing, "That's horrible! So many men dying that way!"

Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, still sobbing, she says, "So how many is a Brazilian?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?

A: Bone voyage!


Q: Why did the thief take a shower?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway!


***
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