THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, Nov. 11th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

Christmas music already? Come on! Almost every store is blasting those annoying holiday tunes and it's only the beginning of November.

Remember when the holiday season started right after Thanksgiving and then you were actually looking forward to it? Now that's long gone. By the time Christmas gets here we're egg nogged and Fa-la-la-la-la-ed to death and beyond. I think most people are truly starting to hate the holiday season... and who can blame them?

These stores need to let up on the holiday shopping throttle. For crying out loud, there were boxes of candy canes next to the bags of Halloween candy. This is madness I tell you!

If I hear "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" one more time I'm gonna... I'll probably just do my holiday shopping online this year and not lose it in the middle of the mall like last year. Nobody needs to see that.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Hilarious Puns: Part 2 --*
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


*-- I'm A Winner! --*
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!

She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do postal workers do when they're mad?

A: They stamp their feet.


Q: Why are basketball courts always so damp?

A: The players dribble a lot.

***
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