THE DAILY GROANER - January 21, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I bumped into a friend of mine that I haven't seen since high school. We were close back then. We almost went to the same college, but my grades weren't really up to snuff.

When she went away to college she wrote me and told me that she was going to fulfill her dream of becoming a thespian.

When I bumped into her the other day I asked her how that whole thespian thing was going. She said it was the best. She gave me tickets to this play that she was in and I happily accepted. She said that we should get dinner afterwards and catch up.

I hope that I get to meet her thespian girlfriend at dinner. Thespians are hot!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- You're In --*
Three doctors died and ended up at the Pearly Gates, all at the same time. When St. Peter saw them, he said, "We're kind of busy today. So, each of you step forward and tell me what you contributed to the medical world. If I agree with you, you're 'IN'."

1st Dr. "I invented the small rubber hammer that Dr.'s use to test a person's reflexes!". St. Peter said, "I agree, so welcome to Heaven.."

2nd Dr. "I invented stethoscopes that are so small, pediatricians can hear a newborn baby's heart beat more clearly!". St. Peter nodded his head, "I agree, so welcome to Heaven."

3rd Dr. "I invented the 'HMO' system!". St. Peter gave this one some thought. After a few minutes, he said, "Hmmm. Well, I suppose I agree. Welcome to Heaven." As the Dr. walked past St. Peter, St. Peter said, "Stop!" The Dr. stopped and St. Peter said, "Like I said, 'Welcome to Heaven.' - But in 3 days, you're outta here..."

(Jokes courtesy Dee J.)


*-- Take Him to the Zoo --*
Once upon a time, there was a policeman that saw a man sitting in a car with a tiger sitting next to him. The police officer said, "It's against the law to have a tiger in your car. Take him to the zoo."

The next day the police officer saw the same man in the same car with the same tiger. The police officer said, "I thought I told you to take that tiger to the zoo."

The man replied, "I did. He liked it. Now we're going to the beach."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

A: At forks in the road.


Q: What kind of phones do people in jail use?

A: Cell phones.

***
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