THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, May 22nd 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

I have never really been a do-it-yourself kind of guy when it comes to home repairs and things of that nature, but now with a house and a yard I've decided to give it a real try.

Just yesterday I weed-whacked, cut the grass, put together Jack's playhouse, trimmed the hedges, changed my car's oil, and fixed the lock on our gate. I got quite a bit accomplished.

Today, my tasks will include re-doing all of the work from yesterday, but this time correctly with the help of my dad because I did know what the hell I was doing. Well, the yard doesn't look too bad. Hey, it's grass, it will grow back.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the scotch tape say to the duct tape?

A: I was hoping you'd stick around.


Q: Why did the old man keep his money in the refrigerator?

A: He liked having cold cash.


*-- Running From A Bear --*
Two guys are being chased by a bear, when one stops to put on his sneakers.

The other guy yells, "You idiot, you can't outrun a bear."

The first guy gasps, "I don't have to outrun a bear - I just have to outrun you."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was the blonde staring so hard at the orange juice carton?

A: Because it said "concentrate"!


Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up?

A: A township.

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