Like Spanx & Kymaro but less than 1/2 price...
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14455/c/117/a/585
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, December 28th 2009
Good Morning Groanies,
I can't wait to get old. You want to know why? Well, I'll
tell you. It is because old people get away with all kinds
of things.
For instance, over the weekend, Stacy and I were at the
movies and an older gentleman exited one of the theaters
near us. He walked about three feet from the exit and
ripped a beefer that could have killed the sense of
hearing for everyone in a 12 mile radius.
I've never heard a fart like that in my life. But the weird
thing was, nobody seemed to react how I expected. It seemed
that everyone noticed it, but saw the guy and thought, "Oh,
he's old."
That old-timer is one lucky dude. To get away with some-
thing like that, anywhere and at anytime, I can't wait to
get old.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Electric Smart Cutter Scissors
Not just a pair of scissors... A cutting machine...
Normal Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99
The cordless Smart Cutter Scissors are designed
specifically to make you life easier. It quickly cuts
fabric, paper, leather, soft plastic sheets, linoleum
and more.
PERFECT FOR:
- Ensuring A Straight Cut - Everyday Use
- Right or Left Handed Use - Scrapbooking
- Carpal Tunnel Sufferers - Arthritis Sufferers
Smart Cutter Scissors make precision cuts every time with
rapid stainless steel cutting action. Weighs under 1 lb
and are 9" in length. Requires 2 AA batteries (not
included). Also can be used with an AC adapter (also not
included).
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/4073/c/120/a/585
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she
can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve
blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same
thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet
again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she
returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't
serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know
I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not
a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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SUPER SIZE SHAMMIE
Made In Germany, Don't Be Fooled By Others...
Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Get two for $4.98
Now is the time to get this FULL SIZED SHAMMIE for just
$2.99. Made in Germany don't be fooled by others on the
market that just don't do the job AND are more than
triple the price!
Like on TV, this Super Size Shammie Absorbs 50% than
natural chamois. It's extra large size of 27 x 17 can be
cut in half for smaller jobs. Durable enough for just
about any task, but soft and gentle enough for use on any
surface.
It's the PERFECT cleaning cloth and has hundreds of house-
hold uses: floors, countertops, appliances, furniture
windows, pets and more. Perfect for washing car or boat,
too! Like on TV, this soft, absorbent and non-abrasive
cloth is 100% polyester and will not scratch or damage
any surface. Best of all... it's reusable! Just machine
washable... but do not tumble dry.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3961/c/120/a/585
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Q: Who did the mortician invite to his party?
A: Anyone he could dig up!
Q: Which president was least guilty?
A: Lincoln. He is in a cent.
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View The Daily Groaner Archives for your favorite jokes!
http://groaner.gophercentral.com/
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