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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, July 21st 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
You know that old saying: "The two happiest days of a boat
owner's life are the day they buy a boat and the day they
sell it."
I've never met a happy boat owner in my 29 years. I'm sure
that your mind reels at this point to come up with one
single figure that cracked a smile during their ownership
of their floating financial burden. Don't kid yourself,
it's a lost cause.
Well, I believe that there should be a medical condition
known as "Boater's Remorse", especially when it comes to
those unfortunate folks that made that fateful decision
to purchase a sea-going vessel.
"Boater's Remorse" runs rampant through literature, film,
and everyday life. If you don't believe me just take a
gander below.
Here's my list of boaters that have suffered from that
dreaded "Boater's Remorse":
1. Captain Hook
2. Blackbeard the Pirate
3. Long John Silver
4. Quint (from 'Jaws')
5. Christopher Columbus (Trouble with Directions)
6. Captain Ahab (Wooden Leg)
7. The Old Man (from 'The Old Man and the Sea')
8. Ulysses (from 'Homer's Odyssey')
9. Captain Bligh (from 'Mutiny on the Bounty')
10. Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood
11. Captain Nemo (from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea)
12. Clean Laffs Joe
Come on, there are some mean, crotchety dudes on that
list. The Gordon's Fisherman seems rather pleasant
though.
If you suffer from "Boater's Remorse" please consult a
physician, the Navy or the Coast Guard. Boats!
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised
thug said, "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you
would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
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Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q: How do you tease fruit?
A: Banananananananana!
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