THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, June 8th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I have never really been a do-it-yourself kind of guy when it comes to home repairs and things of that nature, but now that I have a house and a yard I've decided to give it a try.

Just yesterday I weed-whacked, cut the grass, patched up some holes in a window screen, took care of an insect problem and even fixed the lock on the gate. I got quite a bit accomplished.

Today, my tasks will include re-doing all of yesterdays work correctly with the help of my dad because I did know what the hell I was doing. Well, the yard doesn't look too bad. Hey, it's grass, it will grow back.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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+-- Fun At The Pool --+
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

+-- Q and A Quickies --+
Q: What did Tennessee?

A: The same thing Arkansas.

Q: What did Delaware?

A: Her New Jersey.

+-- More Q and A Quickies --+
Q: Why was the blonde staring so hard at the orange juice carton?

A: Because it said "concentrate"!

Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up?

A: A township.

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