THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, Feb. 13th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's a cute Valentine's story for your reading pleasure.

So I'm waiting in line at the pharmacy the other night and in front of me is this woman waiting for her prescription. The pharmacist brought the woman her drugs for whatever the hell her problem was and this conversation took place:

Pharmacist: Do you have any questions?

Woman: Yes, can I speak to the pharmacist?

Pharmacist: I am the pharmacist.

Woman: Oh, okay. Would I be able to mix this prescription with alcohol?

Pharmacist: Well, there isn't a specific warning prohibiting the use of alcohol with this particular drug, but we always caution our customers to engage in the the use of alcohol in moderation.

Woman: Okay then.

Pharmacist: Any other questions?

Woman: What about one drink?

Pharmacist: We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation.

Woman: What about two drinks?

Pharmacist: We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation.

Woman: What about three drinks?

Pharmacist: Miss, we always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation.

Woman: Well, I mean Valentine's Day is coming up, and I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be drinking, somewhat. I just want to make sure that it's okay to drink while I'm taking my meds. I want to get better, but I also want to have a good time. You know what I mean? I want to get healthier, but I don't want to miss out on stuff. A few drinks should be okay, right?

The pharmacist looked at the woman for about ten seconds without making a sound or movement and then repeated for the fifth time, "We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation." Then the woman paid and left.

The entire time I witnessed this spectacle of stupidity all I could think was what a horrendous drunken hosebag this woman was. What this woman was actually saying was, "I really need to take my herpes medication because it's a mess down there, but I love to party and I can't party without downing booze like Norm Peterson at Oktoberfest. So I need to be able to take care of business south of the border as well as get some hooch in my gut and skank up the backseat of some Honda that belongs to some Fast and Furious reject that lives with his grandma and her forty cats." Well, that's what I heard.

So I guess what we can all take away from this romantic tale of drugs, booze and morons is the best way to have a Happy Valentine's Day is to be sure to ask your special someone about there medical history before buying them a drink and catching something you can't get rid of.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- The Perfect Gift --*
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?

A: You turn me on.


Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?

A: His ghoul-friend.


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