21 Disks, one incredible collection; the entire Amos 'n'
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, April 4th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
Stress can do so many things to your body and mind. It
can make you tired, irritable, hungry, thirsty, nervous,
hyper, achy, fatigued, restless, fidgety, scream
obscenities, cry, laugh hysterically for no apparent
reason, bark like a dog at delivery people, shave your
head, fill your bathtub up with peeled bananas and skim
milk, engage in a staring contest with a random squirrel,
make a suit out of your living room carpeting, watch a
silent movie with the television muted, build a replica
of the Washington Monument out of burnt toast, hide
pudding in your medicine cabinet, clean your gutters while
naked, order a pizza and then just eat the box it came
in, punt a football in an elevator, glue high heels to
ceiling fan blades, draw hair on the heads of bald guys...
Hey, stress can make you do all sorts of things.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk
to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests
back in. The professor noticed that one of the students
had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying
"A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $56 change.
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A man goes into a supermarket and buys a tube of tooth-
paste, a bottle of soda pop, a bag of tortilla chips, and
a frozen pizza. The cute girl at the register looks at him
and says, "Single, huh?"
Sarcastically the guy sneers, "How'd you guess?"
She replies, "Because you're ugly."
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Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep!
Q: How are stupid dogs and dumb doctors alike?
A: Neither one can heel!
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