THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, January 13, 2014
Good Morning Groanies,Because I'm a smart guy I got my son into a 'tiny tikes' class so Jack can run and play with other kids his age that have hacking coughs, runny nose, and non-stop projectile sneezes.
My intentions were good, but I just took my son to play in a Petri dish. Come on, Jack. Let's go play in the snot pit, crawl through the flu tunnel, and pin the tail on the diarrhea donkey.
Jack really enjoys the class and I do too. I forgot how much fun it is to run around, do the hokey pokey, and play with a hula hoop. We just have to remember to cover ourselves in hand sanitizer when the class is over.
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchivesJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- Romantic Text Message --*An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon while shopping the wife decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
(Jokes courtesy of Paula)
*-- Stuck In An Elevator --*The guys down at the barber shop asked me what Hollywood bombshell actress I'd like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I thought for a minute and said, "Any one of 'em that knows how to fix elevators."
(Jokes courtesy of BFBOA1)
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts!
Q: What is a boxer's favorite drink?
A: Punch.
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