Super Sized Shammies...Holds 20x Its Weight In Liquid
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, December 27th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
Winter just started, but it needs to end. I already can't
stand being cooped up indoors all day long. I need to get
some fresh air. I need natural light. I need to feel
nature's embrace. Do I come off sounding needy?
I think I'm going to spend the night outside. That's right.
I am going to sleep in a sleeping bag in a tent outside at
night. I have a tent, some snacks, water, a sleeping bag,
a classic MAD Magazine and a flashlight all ready to go.
Before I venture out to my evening of outdoor adventure
I should probably check the weather forecast. I'm not
worried about cold temperatures because I am a vigorous,
hot-blooded male that can take on anything that comes his
way.
So I just found out that it's only going to be 16 degrees
tonight! Well, screw sleeping outdoors! I'll be inside if
you need me.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she
can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve
blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same
thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet
again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she
returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't
serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know
I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not
a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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Q: Who did the mortician invite to his party?
A: Anyone he could dig up!
Q: Which president was least guilty?
A: Lincoln. He is in a cent.
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