fiogf49gjkf0d
THE DAILY GROANER - June 10, 2015
Good Morning Groanies,
Clean Laffs Joe and I were just talking about drinking and baseball, America's two greatest pastimes. We thought that not only should the fans drink during the game, but the players should too. The games would certainly be much more fun to watch.
Just imagine Anthony Rizzo trying to breakup a double play ball in the bottom of the six inning after his ninth beer. Good times! And don't forget about the 7th Inning Chug.
Game attendance and television viewership would skyrocket. Advertisers, beer conglomerates, and fans would jump at the chance to get in on this on the ground floor.
Who wouldn't be a fan of baseball after this positive change? Right?
Groaningly yours,
Steve
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve
*-- What'll It Be? --*
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be, buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
*-- My Wife Beats Me --*
Patient: My wife beats me, doctor.
Doctor: Oh dear. How often?
Patient: Every time we play Scrabble!
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail?
A: He became a Small Medium At Large.
Q: What did the curtain say to the wall?
A: I'm tired of hanging around all day.
***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives