Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


THE DAILY GROANER - December 5, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


Thank you so much for all of the well-wishes, happy thoughts, good vibes, it made my birthday that much more special.

And for those that sent me insults, bad-mouthing and ageist jokes, I'd have something to say about that, but I'm busy debating whether or not to take a nap or watch 'Murder, She Wrote'.

Thanks again! You're the best!

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Who Gave You Those Beauties? --*

A regular at the bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.

"Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"

"Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."



*-- What Do You Do? --*

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'

He answered, 'Call for backup.'



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?

A: Two mothers-in-law!


Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?

A: Because peeing in the bath is disgusting!

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives