THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, October 17th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Tomorrow is Stacy's birthday. This year she is turning... one year older that she did last year.

This year I am doing something a little bit different for my wife's special birthday gift. I'm going to take her on a relaxing getaway. That's just what the doctor ordered.

I've never planned a trip before, well maybe to the store or something like that, but never across state-lines (Oh, I must be very careful not to reveal the destination that we are heading to in the very near future, after all it is a surprise). I hope that she has a fun time being whisked away to the... (Damn, I almost did it again) pre-determined place which I have generically named - Stacy's Birthday Fun Zone. Good save.

Lately, she's been so stressed at work. I thought that it would be nice if she would forget her worries for just a little while and had some fun, like a sailor on a three-day pass! We'll go somewhere different and just enjoy getting away, being together and doing what we want to do when we want to do it.

I love my wife very much and she does so much for us. I can never do enough to show her just how much I appreciate her and the sacrifices that she makes, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try. I am grateful each and every day for her and I hope that she knows that.

I hope that she has a very happy birthday. I hope that it's the happiest one yet.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter: DailyGroaner

*-- Morning Coffee --*
One morning, a grandmother was surprised to find that her 7-year-old grandson had made her coffee! Smiling, she choked down the worst cup of her life.

When she finished, she found three little green Army men at the bottom. Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are these Army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson answered, "Like is says on TV, Grandma -- 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"

*-- Are You Stupid? --*
A teacher stood up in the middle of class and said, "We're starting a new unit in math, and if you're stupid, please stand up." No one stands up except for a little boy.

"Are you stupid?" asks the teacher.

"No," said the little boy "but I feel sorry for you because you're standing up."

*-- Music To My Ears --*
A certain band director was standing outside on a metal ladder during a concert, when a thunderstorm broke out.

Amazingly, he wasn't hit by lightning, but the music was awful - it seems he just wasn't a very good conductor.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?

A: Meals on wheels!

Q: What airline do ghosts fly with?

A: British Scareways!

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives