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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, March 16th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
In the past I have said that I enjoy eating Lucky Charms
cereal for breakfast. The other day I was enjoying a bowl
of the aforementioned breakfast food when something odd
happened. The leprechaun on the box began to speak to me.
He told me that he was a magic leprechaun and that no one
else can know that he spoke to me. Whoops!
It was weird, but kind of cool at the same time. He told
me that he had a few tasks for me to take care of and that
if I did what he asked I would be rewarded. Who is going
to argue with a talking magical leprechaun on a cereal
box? I thought not. I agreed to help him and then things
got really bizarre.
He told me that I was to only speak in a girl's voice from
now on and my name was Emily. Then he instructed me to put
on a blonde wig and a dress. At this point I was starting
to think that this magical creature was up to no good. So
I took off the wig and dress and threw them into the
garbage as well as that box of Lucky Charms.
Now I'm eating Cap'n Crunch and the captain wants me to
steal life jackets and the anchor from my neighbors boat.
I think that there's a gas leak in the house.
Now enjoy the St. Patrick's Day jokes that I have selected
to make you chuckle and/or giggle.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded
to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quick-
ly phoned his best friend Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I
died!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin'
from?"
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A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an
irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all
dumb and stupid. I oughta punch you in the nose."
"I'm sorry sir, I..."
"Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little
fella on your knee."
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Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock!
Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leaf clovers and not
3-leaf clovers?
A: They need all the luck they can get!
Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Patty O'furniture!
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